The decision to leave an abusive relationship involves navigating a complex web of threats and isolation that outside observers rarely see.

Andrea Kocher, Director of Services at Willow Tree Missions in Piatt County, explains that abusers intentionally target whatever means the most to a survivor to keep them from leaving. A major and frequently overlooked barrier is the safety of family pets.

Even when a survivor has a strong external support system, abusers work early on to isolate them and diminish those relationships. Furthermore, Kocher points out that victims are often hesitant to seek shelter with loved ones out of a protective fear that they are putting their own family members in immediate danger by showing up. 

Because the situation is incredibly dangerous and unpredictable, it becomes easy for outsiders to blame the individual for staying rather than understanding the lack of safe options. For friends and family members wondering how to best support a loved one experiencing domestic violence, Kocher stresses that the most impactful thing anyone can do is simply listen.

Abusers work hard to make their victims believe they are crazy or that no one else wants them, making non-judgmental support a vital lifeline. Kocher emphasizes that listening without trying to force an immediate "fix" allows survivors to safely process their situation and take the first steps toward rebuilding their lives.

For more information on Willow Tree Missions, visit willowtreemissions.org, find them on Facebook, or, if you feel safe, call 217-762-2350. You can also stop into the agency's resale shop.