Navigating coparenting after leaving an abusive relationship presents unique challenges, and a central Illinois advocate says there is a lot to navigate for the victims of those relationships.  

Andrea Kocher, Director of Services at Willow Tree Missions in Piatt County, explains while joint coparenting is a healthy goal in standard breakups, applying that same expectation to domestic violence survivors often exposes them to continued abuse.

According to Kocher (right), Illinois law takes domestic violence in the presence of children very seriously, recognizing that kids absorb the hostility even if parents try to hide it.

Because domestic abuse centers on power and control, former partners frequently use ongoing communication regarding children as a way to maintain that control long after the relationship has ended.

To safeguard survivors and children, Willow Tree Missions helps families establish detailed safety plans, including using specialized court-monitored communication apps to keep interactions strictly focused on the children.

In addition to digital tools, Kocher emphasizes the importance of structuring safe transfer protocols—ranging from public meetups to law enforcement-chaperoned drop-offs—to limit direct contact between parties.

For more information on safety planning or support services in Piatt County, visit willowtreemissions.org.